I ended it with a man once. Only Man I'd ever really known in all this, this Life. I Loved him like I have loved no other thing on Earth, the person he showed himself to be took me places I'd never seen, even Standing still.&when I moved, no matter where I went, or in what capacity, he stilled me so that I never felt alone again, or ashamed. He made every slight and slander from males who knew nobody would ever believe I'd submit to their half lit egos harden in my chest, every wound crust across my heart and spontaneously combust in the sight of all less than him whose door I'd ever been called to darken and be denied. He was the first to make my wings burst out of hiding due to the chance for actual Love and beginning of like vibrating through space and time to me from behind his eyes& just sat there, in the dark, with, unafraid, not high. I Loved what was left of his horns that I was supposed to be scared to see, as real as my wings were to him when he looked at me.
It was his entry, when I was so blinded by a slash that I could not see I was steps from wit's end, a rare spread of paces from a river my body had broken itself plummeting to lifetimes before. Heart wide open, respecting the hurt that had been just enough of too much to have wrung me dry. &he waited, kept watch, honored my mourning, this guy. The first one who could see my pain and look me in the eye.with what I now see was Empathy. The hole in his chest was broad and wide too, ancient, yet still he walked. And waited beside me patiently until I stood, then flew.I really Love this- him.
But he believed the ones God refused to give me to. Unaware that even then he had been pointed to. More than he believed in the power of on sight, just walking in and speaking to me. He showed Up& sided with everything that hated me for not depending on what they saw me to be through ruptured ears, lazy eyes &arrogant addictions only given up enough to give creedence to New lies being lived. I ended it with a Man once, ethereally. &every breath since breaks every ventricle of my heart time &time, again.
#Again . A #poem by #angelbrynner #sedonarevisited
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