I take my first bite and it is absolutely delicious! WowâĶ this food is amazing! The taste, the structure, the smell, the variety. This makes me instantly feel happy again. Another bite, yummmmm! I have to be careful not to make any sounds. I never realised, but I tend to do that a lot. Even when Iâm on my own. Now I am surrounded by 75 women and I canât make a sound. I canât share with them how amazing I think this food is, how that excites me, because I didnât expected it. How this is my favourite time of the day, as I love eating good food and the rest of the day is tough for me. I canât even look at them to see if they like it as much as I do, instead I am looking at a wall. A wall with a socket in there, that I have seen every detail of already, because Iâve been looking at it every meal so far, and there are many more to follow. Then there are some windows just to my right, but they have bars in front of them, are not completely see-through and the only thing I can see through the little bit thatâs open is a big wall.
I look at my plate, thereâs a lot of food! I took something of everything that was there and ended up having a really full plate, a bowl of soup and a banana. (I have a banana! FInally!!) Normally the amount of food I have on my plate would be enough for 2 meals for me, and I probably would still have something left. But now I know I wonât get any dinner and the food is the only thing that makes me feel human or ânormalâ again. I would love to give a big hug to the people who prepare this food, to say âthank youâ, or even just to bow to them with a namaste to show them how much I appreciate this food, but Iâm not allowed. I will walk out this room with my eyes to the floor, avoiding all eye contact and all physical contact. Back to my room, waiting for the next gong. (Story continues in the comments)