Well, well, well, if it isn't @matthikes7.0's birthday
What can I say about Matt? Well, first of all, he's a terrible human being. This guy makes Stalin look like Mr. Rogers. He had to change his name from @matthikes777 to rebrand and is still failing at it
Everyone hates him, even my dad who hasn't even met him. You know how they say dogs can tell good people from bad people? Look at how @rescuesmalls is with him. She knows he's Satan incarnate
Don't get me started on what it's like to hike with him. Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine the entire time. I don't think he knows how to talk like anything but a little girl "Wah, it's too steep." "Wah, I can't breathe." "Wah, I'm afraid of heights." "Wah, why don't you feature me more on Hikeinlandempire?" The only reason I didn't ditch him at Mt. Whitney is because he had the key to the bear canister. And I don't feature you because you suck. The only good pictures you have are ones you're not in
I don't know what blackmail he has on @noeliaatravels but it must be pretty bad for her to have to be with him. He must wear the Chuckie mask at home so she can stand to be in the same room with his ugly mug
Anyway, happy birthday, loser. Let's hope it's your last
Hope your day is just as terrible as you are!
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