Looking for helpful thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. This is something
I’ve thought about quite a bit lately - even brought it up with my counselor a few days ago - & I’m getting nowhere. So I’m opening up to you people, hoping someone has something to say that will help.
Do I stay Rachel Morrill? It’s been my name for nearly half my life, it’s my kids’ last name, & it’s the name on all my cards, documents, email addresses, etc. Dan & I get along just fine, so I don’t need to distance myself from his name or anything. That being said, it’s the name I took as an 18 year old with a very different worldview. A woman taking her husband’s name has its roots in her becoming his property, so that’s icky. I may have to go a different direction on that issue alone.
But do I go back to Rachel Smith? That was my name for the first half of my life, but I feel no strong tie to it. It’s not like Smith is a unique family name - there were 8 or 9 Rachel Smiths at BYU when I was there! With a common first name already, I’m hesitant to return to a common last name as well. Should I really be Rachel Smith just because my dad’s dad’s dad’s....dad was a smith of some sort?
What are the other options, though? My counselor asked about other family names, but nothing I think of feels right. Jonathan & I have talked about getting married & merging names to become Goldsmith, but that brings up other issues (for one, while it’s less problematic than taking his name, it’s still something of a loss of individual identity). I suppose I could just make something up, but then the options are limitless & overwhelming & this is where I get stuck & just decide to not decide right now.
I am a baby scientist, at the very beginning of my career. I want to make a name for myself, & I want that name to be with me for the rest of my life. So I need to decide - stay with the unique last name of my children & their father, even if he’s no longer my husband (even if/when I marry someone else?)? Reclaim my very common maiden name that hasn’t been me for nearly half my life? Make something up out of the blue or by combining family names or combine names with Jonathan or ????? Help!!! Смотреть полностью